A talk to remember

 A talk to remember Well about a weekend or two ago some shit went down as per usual. San francisco came home drunk while we were watching Laila. It got so bad we stayed at comfort suites. And that topped off a previous night of fights about my communion, rb, monday nights and a whole lot of other crap. Emilio called me and pulled me from the sea i was sinking into, for that i could never truly thank him. I love him to death and really wish he were closer but he's not, oh well.

Issues galore

(1/3) So life has been better, rosie got banned from my house and finally got to come over yesterday and we just derped for all we were worth, it was really nice, she's one of the only people i can fully derp around and be myself, so it kinda sucks that we might have gotten her banned again. Either way might  see a rollar derby match tonight

Times a passin me by

You know what annoys me? Time passing in so many ways.
The most invisible thing to us is time passing. It just flies by. I just can't believe its already spring. I'm so modivated by so many people around me that i just want to let it all out!

Spring break!!!

OK so spring break started on Monday. So far I've cleaned out my room of all my old toys and clothes. It was harder then you'd think. I broke down and kept some of my old winx club dolls, only the originals, to add to my anime shelf, which like the floor of my room needs to be cleaned!!!!
Then Saturday i babysat for Diva's fam, actually a pretty good day. Then Monday i babysat for Ash's family, that was a little bit harder on me, but oh well! Then on Tuesday i did a lot of filming with S.R.P. ummm ya we are gonna have to film another video soon.
Either ways, i hope summer can be this productive. But it won't be until after my birthday party in July, which is gonna leave me a sitting duck until after. So when my birthday party is done, I'm gonna take a sleeping pill, wake up whenever i do, and make an appointment to cut my hair. Then i will bounce right back up and get started on cosplay stuff only!

I can do this, even without Reborns dieing will bullet, I CAN DO THIS!!!!

Side note- diva's sister

All in a day Ok hey future self, as of this comming monday u've got spring break. But today you watched divas kid sister all day, you got $20 for it and ya know what you deserved it, it was nice to work and earn your own money, gives you a sense that you did something.

What might that be thats on its way? Hmmmm.....?

Well it be Spring and Summer. Oh hell ya. Its a commin and its a commin fast..... thats what she said, sorry couldn't help it. Either ways up comming crap!

My first communion and my 15th b-day, oh ya the big 1- 5

And then i want to do a little photoshoot for easter and then there's sort of a concert and a meetup comming up fast. I hope things go well! And then there's summer, oh god i won't be able to do a whole lot during june and july except babysit and plan for my stupid b-day thing so that i won't piss off my mom. So really once its done i'll have to sleep in a little then bounce right back up and get going with my cosplays, aka i'm gonna be dead by the time school starts but ya i need to not waste this summer away, i can't afford to do that this year.

what to say in review

You see when i take a look at this year in review i realize how much I've grown and how strong I've had to be, keep in mind when i say year i mean the school year. Ya there was ending things with that one person, i know deep down he kinda hates me for it but i just couldn't do it any more, it was to much crap i didn't need to deal with. Then there was that other person, female i might add, that I've kinda always un-knowingly been in love with. To bad she couldn't care less about how her decisions where affecting the people who had the guts to confess to her. She was only concerned with being loved and not how much she was hurting the people who did love her by not being clear and rejecting them. That really pissed me off, and my friend also really liked her, and its not like i was about to say anything. So for the longest time I've had to just deal, and finally i want to just let it die, but i don't know if i ever can, its like that one other time. Except that time there wasn't much of a fight on my end to let the whole thing go.
Then there was Kibi's move. I had to try my absolute best to keep from crying the entire time after so that diva wouldn't cry, i hated it. On my way home i broke down crying at the park from a flood of memory's of international cosplay day. Some times i wish i didn't have to be strong for all the people around me. But life is never gonna be that simple.
Sorry love,  i know one day you'll look back at this post and think, "wtf? where you pmsing?", answer..... sort of, but its just stuff that's been on my mind for a while now. Its hard to look to a future that's not there. Sometime this year I'll have to right a letter to my Senior self, what should i say? What should i ask? I wonder? Hmmmmm? I guess I'll just keep thinking.
I had a dream about kibi recently, we were juniors and she came back to visit for AMKE. We were doing the vendors alley that year too and things were crazier then usual with her there. I think i almost blew up and screamed at her that things where better without her there and hit her but i pulled my arm back picked up a volume of mixed vegetables and walked away one i was out of sight i ran to the air line center. It was a sweet yet very realistic dream. Then at the end of the weekend she told us she was visiting because she was moving back.