summer of 2011 in review and Marching band.

Well ya i had the parade which was so flippin nerve wrecking but fun. I was so nervous i had no idea how to put my uniform on so Adam and Jared helped me when we stopped to take pictures. We walked with our sections back to the start of the parade and got water. It was interesting getting to see the social heiarchy of our sections. At that time i wasn't sure who the section leader was. In many ways i thought it was Nick but its not, its the upper class men that actually helped me.
I had so many issues staying in step so the french horn section leader was continuausly screaming left at probably me, so did Adam/Jared. I think i really tested peoples patience that day.
Marching band was a fun unit over all. I got it pretty easy since it wasn't exactly something that came naturally to me. I always had Adam near me except during 'To much time on my hands', we also played 'Mr. Roboto', and the best of times was our closer. It was a fun experiance and it just over all felt amazing. When i hit the last note in any of the peices, dear god did it feel good. I would hit almost this high, i would feel so alive. I would hit that last note, struggling for breath, shaking like crazy, nothing else the world could matter to me at that moment. At that moment nothing could touch me, reality couldn't reach me, couldn't hurt me. Life... or more like Reality is difficult, most days i feel dead, i feel like i'm watching myself go through life not feeling anything but pain, rejection and the occational love. I love the feeling of playing my saxophone, it reminds me i'm still alive.
Now for a few random little facts. I thought most of the guys and Emmie looked like Princes from behind, especially with their capes.

Marching band sophmore year

The moment i hit the last note in the star spangled banner i was shot with a mixture of anxiety and adreneline. As i struggled for breathe, the note was all that mattered to me. It was an in-discribable feeling, it was like a natural high.


Now its Sunday of homecoming week. And it was amazing. I had a ton of fun this week despite having zero school spirit. tmatl

Yesterday was my first feild show for band. It went well in a few ways. It was just plain epic

Talk: survived my first parade in marching band, it could have been worse. Really great international cosplay day too. EDIT.

My 15th birthday

Ok so i don't want to really remember it all. It was so long, but i think it was kind of worth it in the end. In a way or too.
So the day before was a nightmare but i got through it just like the week leading up to it. My contacts were an issue and I've decided i just don't want them. My family hurt me and I'm getting over it. They did.
There were so many dance lesson leading up to it and i now know i shouldn't have asked my friends to do it. They didn't want to so i feel really bad that i made them do it, if i could go back I'd just have talked my cousins and family friends into doing it.
:The day of i got up early and let R.B. sleep in. I got to the salon and picked out what hair style i wanted and a nice girl who was getting ready for her friends quince was there too, she was super nice and kept talking to make the awkwardness of me not talking less noticeable. Then a girl put a ton of makeup on me and i went home.
:They put the dress on me some how and then we did R.B.'s makeup and stuff, i would have done everything for her differently but my mom was being herself so i didn't even try. My brother came home with like 15 min. to get ready. We waited for a long time and then left for the church. I was late, big surprise. My God parents though were happy to see me and vice versa. Seeing them and Cassandra and Diego calmed me down a bit.
: My heart though was beating in a very strange way randomly and it had been like that since the night before so Diego and Ivan were worried about me, like for half the day one or the other was with me. I saw Diva and Cree who along with R.B. and Amber were my damas.
:We went in and had the church ceremony and Laila was baptised. Unfortunately babies and children tend to cry a lot when in that particular church, or so I've noticed, so Laila was crying through most of it. She stopped when she stole a butterfly from my bouquet.
:My family disbanded and Diego, Ivan and my Uncle took me back to my grandma's house so they could eat. Only my family and Marino came back with me, which actually kinda hurt, i know its stupid but it did. I'm glad that at least the ones that stayed with me didn't leave me.
:Photo shoot time came and we headed out to the botanical gardens. That was long and i had to think of it as doing a photo shoot for cosplay. For that i was pretty alone which wasn't as bad as it could have been. It was hot and people complained and were tired, most of us didn't go to sleep until like 3am the night before.
:On the way back i had to hold on to Diego's coat to calm myself down and so he showed me a video he took of Marino and my cousin dancing together. I couldn't stop laughing. The party was fun i guess, all of my friends made it and we danced and stuff. People ate, i didn't eat anything that day really, Ivan gave me a plate of rice which i didn't really eat, but dear god did i down bottles of soda. I stressed drank so much after my last dress change. Three of my amazing friends(Cree, Emma, Maddie), one whom i might add has only know me for a few months because of like one class, helped me go to the bathroom and take the dress off twice. We also realized I'd hit that time of the month which made everything all the more awkward.
:Later that night I'd greeted so many people, done both the waltz, family/friends waltz(which ended up being just my uncles and a few male cousins) and the surprise dance, taken to many pictures and was ready to just chill. I took my little cousin and ended up putting him to sleep on my pillow pet. We later took pictures of him holding random objects. Around this time my friends were all either gone or were abandoning me, if you haven't realized i have abandonment issues. My family started to approach me, and it was really nice actually, i had some fun messing with Diego and vice versa. Had fun chasing my kid cousins around with a freaking wand threatening to hurt them because they stole my pillow pet.
I think over all i understand now why mothers always want there daughters to have a quince, its a viscous cycle but to my future self, you have to respect your daughters decision to not have one of there own.

Short term update

Love girl= what i'm playing. fighting to stay awake. Gonna die filming and then marching band. Not gonna go home much today. Update later. <------ idk when i wrote that.

Now to update fully in short term, today is 8/25/2011. So my summer is comming to an end and such i'm getting bussier. Its to be expected. Lately my life has consisted of babysitting and marching band. I'll post about marching band and comic con and geek.kon and cosplay stuff soon enough. Right now i felt like blogging and writing and stuff so here i am, hi future self! How ya doin babe?
It also occured to you know, start writing to myself in the future. I hope i can write helpful thoughtful things in here for me to read in the future, or have my own kids or grandkids read this.
and if the above is the case, "hey how ya doin lovey's! ;)"

i am 15

I be 15 Today be my bday, but it sucks.
Well of course it did(editing right now). We all celebrated it before so the actual day kinda sucked, i made my self sick of pizza, stayed up watching pointless tv and so on.

Talk #15, crashing reality, changes, haitus, depression

So shit went down and San Francisco is out, i don't think he's coming back this time, so we are on our own. And as always i have to be the strong one even though what i really want to do is break down and cry hysterically for all its worth, i want to kick and scream and cling to a kinder reality, but i can't do that anymore.

I know what i'm going to do if i'm left alone, its not the best idea ever, it'll hurt a lot of people, but i know what i'm gonna do.

Life screwed everything over once i was finally starting to look forward to my party and it really sucks, i want to pray to a the greater being but my awareness of my own hypocracy isn't going to let me. I only turn and rely on Him when things head one way to hell.

Well whats done is done, we have to get rid of shit and move somewhere else here in town and its gonna suck, i have to head back to school and try my best, even if it kills me.

As for conventions, ya they aren't going to happen after Geek.kon. I just don't know how it would work and i know there's no way in hell i'll have the money or be able to leave this depression in time. And as for depression, ya its worse then ever since i don't have school or anything to use to escape it... i hardly want to get out of bed and i'm depressing my cats, hobbes keeps trying to escape and nico doesn't leave me except a few times a day and when that happens she leaves hobbes there.

Last night i was thinking back to when i was a kid and had to deal with this shit and how i kept myself alive. I remember i killed my imagination creating this wonderful world where i had this amazing family and there was magic and faries and all sorts of other shit that helped me forget about my own reality. I stayed there for so long it was hard to leave it all behind and face everything else. Everytime i fell asleep and dreampt about it, it was still a hard place to reach, there was always darkness i had to get past. It killed Dark on the inside everytime she had to go there, i'm glad she left it all and hasn't gone back. I tried my best not to cry last night since my mom could hear me if i did, i wanted to cry when i thought back to that and a lot of other things, people, and so much more. I'm not sure how i'm gonna come out of this one... i'm not sure if i'm strong enough anymore.

Geek.kon 2011 line up update

So my line up is a little less demanding in some ways, but harder in others. 


Hinata- The older hinata on friday.


Luka- saturday


Reese- My negative on sunday. 


So i really hope i can get all 3 wigs, but i'm gonna rely on thrift shops and stuff for mostly all of this!


<3 Lulu

Talk 14, finals, summer, cats, and my birthday.

Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo i passed all of my finals mostly, well i got passing grades. 
S.S.- was my first, we had to dress up, i didn't have dressy clothes that were also weather friendly. It went well but we ran pretty close on time because people read word for word these long ass sentences. 
Math- was pretty painless, it happened then Quince and i played with my ipod and listened to music on his phone. 
6th- was our lunch period so we skipped out and had a failed photoshoot. 
Gym- we played with a vollyeball and got to skip out early.
English- i watched a movie, everyone else ignored it or had to be out of the room for their final.
French- It was painful!!!! But i did ok on it. 
Band- My partner and i played our duets ahead of time and just watched the others. 
Bio- was nice, i tried my best but didn't do as well as i hoped, my teachers little kid was in the room and he's so cute ^///^, didn't get to take out monty because he hasn't been fed and i wasn't going to take that risk.
And thats my finals re-capped. 
Those days were kinda rainy and humid, just how i love it :p. We went to Noah's Arc the next day and it was so fucking cold, Dora kept asking if we still really, really, really wanted to go. This is what was commonly said "We're from Wisconsin, we can take it!" I was about to kick a puppy. But sometimes i've noticed that i don't have fun on the gs trips to water parks so i tried my best to have fun this time. We got wet suits and went for it! We actually had fun, we didn't have to wait in long lines and the water was heated so it ended up being we wanted to be in the water rather then out of it. 


Now short little blurb about Nico, she's awkward, she's like a flippers in cat version. Then i've been having bad dreams about Hobbes hating and not wanting to be with me, its really starting to bother me. 


Now on to my birthday shit. Well i'm stressed and haven't slept in a few days finishing all sorts of shit, i have to go practice the surprise dance today at 12, fun, but at least i got it down! Both of them! The invitations, dress, and sort of the doll and the pillow are all taken care of, all thats left is the cups(almost done) and the bottles(easier then the cups but getting there too).


Geek.kon with be in another post. 

strong hope and even stronger memory's

So tonight, thursday may ? was my last concert of my freshman year, and gotta admit it was fucking awesome!!!!! It was so much fun, Mr. Schneider was so worried for us because he had us playing things that concert band plays and all sorts of other little things. Everyone loved our preformance, its kinda expected, i mean our band is really good, so i can’t wait to hear us when we are in the wind ensemble.
Tonight was also the Wind ensemble’s last performance together as a class, i can’t imagine how sad they must have been. They were amazing beyond belief. After they were done they played a few movements to a slide show of pictures of them with the colleges they are going to. It filled me with such sadness i almost started crying, i really hope i’ll end up in Minnesota. I was so proud of Chris D. who i’ve always had strong memory’s of. I was so happy he got his scholar ship to a college, he is so talented. I guess i always see in him and in Chance the hopes and the want and talent that Dark always showed to me. Its sad to see them go. I hope him and all the others the best. Mr. Hatch also gave a very lovely speach to us about how we helped him through his depression and gave him hope and support and to be honest i’m glad we did, he’s always so happy to teach us even though we love to test the absolute patience of a human being. The cardnal band was almost in tears we were so happy, we were clapping and cheering and all sorts of emotions were flying our from our side of the PAC. It filled me with a strong feeling, it was hope yet it wasn’t, it was fear yet it wasn’t.
This night will go down forever in my memory, it has also filled me with a sense of hope that can’t be matched. I can honestly say this night filled me a strong feeling of Hope and an even stronger then that is the memory’s its re-kindled and given me.
p.s. thank you Pudding, forever Loyd.
<3 Lulu.  

talk #13 days blurring

So my freshman year is almost over and done with. I've just had my first communion and it went better then expected. It was kinda fun, i had a ton of food, i got a lot of really nice presents. And now things will go back up hill until my birthday party. Fun. 
Either ways i haven't had much of a want to write anything on here in a while, sorry. I always get like this. This is why i can't keep a steady journal, this i can sort of honestly say is a good sort of alternative. Either ways again, i haven't had much time or want to write, draw, edit or make anything. Just sleep, which isn't much of an option with finals closing in on me, T_T.... i so need to push for extra credit and check my grades since i slacked a little and got lower grades then i wanted now i'm scrambaling for either extra credit or to just do well. 
Mom's already started in on my birthday crap, my dress is comming at the end of the month. My whole familys coming up for it as well. My friends meet Diego and i don't think i'll ever fully hear the end of it. hehe on an other note i got a new cat. Her name is Nicky but i call her Nico. She's a smallish black cat who likes inclosed dark areas, she's living in my closet, i found her in a drawer, and she's super antisocial except at night when she comes out to attention whore.
Today i skipped out on school, on account of my cold, aunt, lack of sleep, eye appointment and over all me not wanting to go. Some good news, my vision hasn't gotten worse, bad news contacts are gonna be shit expensive T_T sad face. I'm gonna go with my mom to drop off my tia Liz in Milwuakee later today. We had all sorts of issues with her luggage and she was bringing my candle, oh well we dealt. 
So this is the time of year where days begin to blur together and i can no longer tell them apart, that sometimes scares me even if i don't like to admit it. A nice break from all that is is always nice, i saw the King and I and could not stop laughing for the life of me. Geek.kon is also comming into view and with that comes all sorts of different head aches and i've got to work my ass of this summer and i've got to do it fast!
p.s. remember- Hank fan club, its a work in progress and it'll happen!!!!!!! ttyl, if i remember <3

A talk to remember

 A talk to remember Well about a weekend or two ago some shit went down as per usual. San francisco came home drunk while we were watching Laila. It got so bad we stayed at comfort suites. And that topped off a previous night of fights about my communion, rb, monday nights and a whole lot of other crap. Emilio called me and pulled me from the sea i was sinking into, for that i could never truly thank him. I love him to death and really wish he were closer but he's not, oh well.

Issues galore

(1/3) So life has been better, rosie got banned from my house and finally got to come over yesterday and we just derped for all we were worth, it was really nice, she's one of the only people i can fully derp around and be myself, so it kinda sucks that we might have gotten her banned again. Either way might  see a rollar derby match tonight

Times a passin me by

You know what annoys me? Time passing in so many ways.
The most invisible thing to us is time passing. It just flies by. I just can't believe its already spring. I'm so modivated by so many people around me that i just want to let it all out!

Spring break!!!

OK so spring break started on Monday. So far I've cleaned out my room of all my old toys and clothes. It was harder then you'd think. I broke down and kept some of my old winx club dolls, only the originals, to add to my anime shelf, which like the floor of my room needs to be cleaned!!!!
Then Saturday i babysat for Diva's fam, actually a pretty good day. Then Monday i babysat for Ash's family, that was a little bit harder on me, but oh well! Then on Tuesday i did a lot of filming with S.R.P. ummm ya we are gonna have to film another video soon.
Either ways, i hope summer can be this productive. But it won't be until after my birthday party in July, which is gonna leave me a sitting duck until after. So when my birthday party is done, I'm gonna take a sleeping pill, wake up whenever i do, and make an appointment to cut my hair. Then i will bounce right back up and get started on cosplay stuff only!

I can do this, even without Reborns dieing will bullet, I CAN DO THIS!!!!

Side note- diva's sister

All in a day Ok hey future self, as of this comming monday u've got spring break. But today you watched divas kid sister all day, you got $20 for it and ya know what you deserved it, it was nice to work and earn your own money, gives you a sense that you did something.

What might that be thats on its way? Hmmmm.....?

Well it be Spring and Summer. Oh hell ya. Its a commin and its a commin fast..... thats what she said, sorry couldn't help it. Either ways up comming crap!

My first communion and my 15th b-day, oh ya the big 1- 5

And then i want to do a little photoshoot for easter and then there's sort of a concert and a meetup comming up fast. I hope things go well! And then there's summer, oh god i won't be able to do a whole lot during june and july except babysit and plan for my stupid b-day thing so that i won't piss off my mom. So really once its done i'll have to sleep in a little then bounce right back up and get going with my cosplays, aka i'm gonna be dead by the time school starts but ya i need to not waste this summer away, i can't afford to do that this year.

what to say in review

You see when i take a look at this year in review i realize how much I've grown and how strong I've had to be, keep in mind when i say year i mean the school year. Ya there was ending things with that one person, i know deep down he kinda hates me for it but i just couldn't do it any more, it was to much crap i didn't need to deal with. Then there was that other person, female i might add, that I've kinda always un-knowingly been in love with. To bad she couldn't care less about how her decisions where affecting the people who had the guts to confess to her. She was only concerned with being loved and not how much she was hurting the people who did love her by not being clear and rejecting them. That really pissed me off, and my friend also really liked her, and its not like i was about to say anything. So for the longest time I've had to just deal, and finally i want to just let it die, but i don't know if i ever can, its like that one other time. Except that time there wasn't much of a fight on my end to let the whole thing go.
Then there was Kibi's move. I had to try my absolute best to keep from crying the entire time after so that diva wouldn't cry, i hated it. On my way home i broke down crying at the park from a flood of memory's of international cosplay day. Some times i wish i didn't have to be strong for all the people around me. But life is never gonna be that simple.
Sorry love,  i know one day you'll look back at this post and think, "wtf? where you pmsing?", answer..... sort of, but its just stuff that's been on my mind for a while now. Its hard to look to a future that's not there. Sometime this year I'll have to right a letter to my Senior self, what should i say? What should i ask? I wonder? Hmmmmm? I guess I'll just keep thinking.
I had a dream about kibi recently, we were juniors and she came back to visit for AMKE. We were doing the vendors alley that year too and things were crazier then usual with her there. I think i almost blew up and screamed at her that things where better without her there and hit her but i pulled my arm back picked up a volume of mixed vegetables and walked away one i was out of sight i ran to the air line center. It was a sweet yet very realistic dream. Then at the end of the weekend she told us she was visiting because she was moving back.

talk #12 to recap all the shit thats been going down in this state.

Ok so ya we made history when this whole thing started, and the bill got passed a few days ago and today Madison is hosting an un-imaginable amount of protesters! Things are insane everywhere, things only got worse with news from Japan. I'm very lucky yet un-lucky to live where i do.


Here is what i posted on DA the day before i left for AMKE


Well at least the Capital of Wisconsin is basicaly on strike, protesting the new Bill the states trying to pass to take away the Unions rights and to take away from our education. Not to mention the state employies, which make up most of madison and its suburbs, hence why i'm posting this. 
Teachers, students, and state workers(including my mom) our out on this gloomy, dark, wet day protesting. I'm sitting at home because i woke up this morning to a call from the school district saying i have no school today then went back to bed. Things are in chaos right now and so i'm posting this. Its all so insane i just can't believe its happening. Its going to affect me in almost every way, considering i go to a school in a suburb of Madison, and its one of, if not the best, in the whole state. Then there's my mom's job. She works for the state and we honestly can't afford to lose any more money considering my brothers in law school. Trust me her job from the state is the best thing to have ever happened to us, if it weren't for my brothers law school expenses my mom could just have one job and life would be better for us and my brother...... gosh why am i ranting like this.

To be honest the whole thing is just upsetting.



I'm lucky i was able to escape to Milwaukee then i saw from one of Sooya's fb post that it wasn't any better there.


Last sunday i believe i got to go to the capital and i even got to go inside for a little bit. To be honest it just made me want to cry. The moment most people have of understanding and sort of a breaking point for me was when i saw that guy get up onto the pillar thing and bash away at the snare drum to help the chants keep a beat. 

From my itouch

Sent from my iPod I just wanted to test out using the email thing thats kind of just been lying around

3 things a month

I did this a long time ago with an old blog i had. 3 things a month you should aim to do.

One, take a nap! A nice long nap can do you wonders. This coming from a person who fell asleep at 5 one day and woke up at 7 the next day still feeling tired. Either way in this day and age its a really good idea.
Two say hi to someone you haven't in a while. We sometimes forget about the people who have left us, just don't forget to say hi once in a blue moon.
Three, watch a funny youtube video, something that will make you laugh in general will work. I recommend going back and watching an old nigahiga vid.
Either ways i've got a date with cold toast, my scanner and a bunch of new post that i've been putting on DA instead of here, sorry!

Talk #11 in review of AMKE

So, gosh am i about to pass out. I've got about a million things running like crazy in mind, S.R.P., cosplays, school, my birthday, Coffin Kissers, and about a million other things. Either way when i'm not insanely tired i'll post a real update. 
So i wrote that a day or two ago, here's the re-cap i posted on DA of AMKE




 Ok i'm now back from AMKE, and i'm sick, i guess being around sick people all weekend will do that to you. 
Here’s the video version in case you don’t want to read this whole thing through.

Ok's so thursday and friday i ended up having no school and Thursday i worked away at Sanatales Zatsune costume and wig. On friday i had an early start and headed off to the school to pick up Sanatales coat and made sure we had directions on how to get to Milwaukee and made sure to drop Sanatales off with a friend so he could teach her how to tie a tie. Then she came to my house and we got into our Ritsuka and Seimei loveless cosplays and hung out and relaxed until 12 when Yukihime picked her up. I waited around until about 2 then headed off to pick up diva and we both headed off to Cree's house. We left later then Yukihime and the people who rode up with her since Ash had to babysit her brothers until 3.

We were on the rode by 3:10 which is really good for us. We watched Alladin and the king of theives on the way up. We only stopped once and got there at exactly 5. After we had some issues getting into the elevator and finally we dumped everything in the room, got Diva into her Italy wig and we were off to the con. 
Right off the bat i heard someone screaming my name i turn around to see my friend Mina running at me, after she walks away i turn around to find my friend Ryan, i turn around once again to find my friend Dustin in drag. BEST GREETTING EVER! I got my badge and wandered around for a while, saw stuff and played tetris. Got stuff kind of unpacked and I helped Yukihime change. Cree and I looked around for a location to do the photoshoot and we decided to just do it in the Sky walk. We did Diva, Sanatales, and my photo shoots and then we went back to our room to get Sanatales changed and I got out of my cosplay and we headed out again to the vocaloid photoshoot. We got stuck in the elevators cause some idiot pushed all of the buttons so we had to go all the way up to the 18th floor, then we realized it was a straight drop from the 18th floor the 2nd floor and we scrambled to press other buttons. Finally we got to the photo shoot and Yukihime was a no show for a good chunk of it so we did a small photo shoot for Sanatales. And my camera Basil decided that he didn’t like the lighting in the sky walk and was one heck of a female dog throughout the entire thing. But hey, Basil had a few moments. We met up with some old friends after Yukihime got there and Cree, Sanatales, Coco, Ash and I all headed back to our rooms to just pass out since most of them were sick. We had a lot of ramen noodles and chips and watched a documentery on Morgan Freemen and then Sanatales and I fell asleep after Diva came back.

The next day our alarms went off at around 7:30 and I got up and got mostly ready to go for the day so that I could help everyone else with their cosplay. Soon after diva got up and she and Sanatales had breakfast. I got into binding and helped Sanatales into her Zatsune costume and once we were dressed I did Sanatales makeup and she did a little bit of my Lambo makeup and then we spent the rest of the time getting Diva into her Rip Van Winkle cosplay and dear god was her wig a female dog. Finally we were all dressed and just headed out. We wandered around and played a lot of ddr and stuff. Then around 11 we went up to the Polaris room where the maid café was and we had the best cake ever! But it was short lived since we had to go back to the room and finish packing and put everything in the car we had come up in. After that I did Coco’s Chii photoshoot, and Basil pulled through for me and took the most amazing pictures ever! We spent a long time in line to have to Enthusiast take our pictures, but it was fun we met some really nice people in line. Once everyone had their pictures taken we watched a Pokemon movie and just went around saying bye to people and spending the last of our money. We left around 6 on Saturday night since there was an ice storm on the way and we stopped at Mcdonalds on the way home, and god was it funny. I tried to dive from the back seat of the van to the middle part and got stuck, I took my binding off in front of a lot of people, Cree also tried to get me to order her a Cheese Burger, but without the burger part, no words could begin to describe how hard I laughed, and we influenced a bunch of little kids. Safe to say Anime Milwaukee was amazing!!!!

Happy late Singles awareness day!

The S.R.P. valentines day skit! Hope you enjoy, and to my future self, hope you look back at this and think like wtf!

Talk #10 January, finals, Anime Milwaukee, Valentines and more!

oh gosh i really gotta do this but i'm kinda every where! <------ dear god i wrote that almost 3 weeks ago.

Ok so January in review...... oh gosh i can't remember anything about it! Ok well how about finals.
Dear god finals were a bitch!!!!! They were long and annoying and just flat out stressful. I hated them but i past all of them, only 2 C's. Pretty good for meh! The only upside is that i got to go home early almost every day. Now that was awesome.
I'm getting more into uploading stuff to Deviant Art. Yay for me!
Etiher way's Anime Milwaukee is closing in on me, and for once i'm done. The only thing is that the sleeves for R.B's Zatsunes shirt aren't done yet, the rest is though, thank god! All of my crap was finished this weekend and now i just gotta pack and get the food i'm gonna take up to Milwaukee with me. I'm really happy even though a few people i love to death can't come, mostly Emilio. I'm also kinda worried since mostly everyone thats going up this weekend is either sick or getting sick or injured, like me! I'm worried about holding my first photoshoot at a con. Wish meh luck!!
I tried to dye my hair, guess what!? I burned part of my skin with the bleach and my mom had to put honey on it. I kept trying to lick it off but it didn't work. T_T oh well still have hues of blue in my hair.
Valentines day has been almost blocked from my mind.
Either ways my stress levels and sleep needs are in over drive. I just need sleep! But at least i got this post done with!

old story,

ok i didn't want to forget this story, i'll come back and edit it later

Ok so this all started with Literacy week, way back in 8th grade, ya those were the days!

Ok so there was an assembly to end literacy week and the 8th grade band got to play, boy was that fun, we got to try and play a new piece that Matt wrote for us and we had to play it in the dark.
Point in the matter we had to play to songs in the dark, so we had reading lights, some of the reading lights were very old and didn't work so we had to go find this box and find one's that actually worked, i followed YukiHime to find the box and took my saxophone with me, i ended up staying there to help people find lights. Adam came up to find a light but i must have been pmsing because i said
"ok here Adam take this light,"
 "ok... sure," he said and i hand it to him and he looks at it kinda confused, so i start yelling at him to go away, it didn't work so i took an empty box and almost threw it at him.
he flinched and said, "why are you so mean to me!....."
i screamed back, "because you kept laughing at me, i actually hurt myself,"(which dates back to another story ^^)
I tired to throw the box at him again but he walked away, so i finally found one and it's a newer one, I'm going back to my seat when he walks up to me starts whining about the light,
He said "this one's to heavy," I took my light and threw it at him yelling, "fine take this one!!," he cought it, and threw his light at me, I'm still carrying my saxophone, so obviously i don't catch it, it falls and sorta breaks, we start arguing, he try's to help me but then he say's,
"i have to go to the bathroom," i hit him very hard, so i go back and find another light and go back.
 finally after school we were putting our instruments away and i was leaving and i saw him, i take my binder and hit him with it very, very, very hard, Sharon starts freaking out and yelling at me, but i was like half way down the hall by the time she registered what happened, later on we were leaving my house and i saw these guys walking and fooling around, and I'm thinking, "oh it can't be......... oh but it could," i see Adam's coat and realize its him, just as I'm realizing this so is emmie and britta so they get out of the car and start talking to them, and rosie just handcuffed me to a pair of head phones. That was the day we went to see Tim Burton's Alice in Wonder land.